Livin' on a prayer...

2 weeks down! Hard to believe I am technically halfway done with being wired shut...at least, that's what I'm gonna keep telling myself. There is the possibility that I end up having to go something like 6 weeks or 8 weeks. But I'm gonna try and stay positive and tell myself it is only for 4 weeks like it should be! After the 4 weeks are up I'm still going to be "banded" however. Basically, they're going to put rubber bands on my teeth to make sure my bite stays correct. I'm still not 100% clear on that whole process yet, but hopefully at my next Tuesday appointment, it'll be made a little more clear to me.

I am definitely starting to feel more like myself again. I noticed that earlier this week. I want to be able to get out and do stuff and I want to eat, which are both things that I did NOT want to do previously. So I would say I am starting to get used to this whole being wired thing, more or less. I'm still interested to see if I'm still wired when I go back to school and see people I know...that could be interesting.

My swelling has gone wayyy down. I still have some in my cheeks, but the doctor has said he is pretty amazed at how quickly the swelling has gone down. I am still pretty numb in my chin, however. I do think that all that feeling will come back eventually because A). I can feel it a little bit more when the doctor pokes me with something sharp there B). It hurts when I pull on my chin hair. That has to mean I have some nerves still working in there, right?

I do, however, have a pretty awesome double chin thing going on now. That is something I had never really thought of before...I'm not sure if that is still swelling, or if I just have a permanent double chin now that I am going to have to work off! Time will tell....

Here is my new face!!!






and just so you can reference...

Happy Holidays!

So the holidays have come and nearly gone for good 'Ole Jaw Bone. I continue really having a pretty pain free recovery. I get, every once in awhile, just general soreness but nothing unbearable. On a scale of 1-10, pain wise inside my mouth, I would give it about a 3/4 when it is at it's worse.

However, that doesn't mean everything is easy still! Sleeping has turned into a bit of an...adventure. I usually wake up about once a night thinking that my wires have come unattached and usually have a mini heart attack. If these things break now, God knows how long I will have to have them on for. I would guess 2018, most likely. But I generally tend to wake up because every so often I will have a jaw spasm, or as I call them, jasms. My jaw will quake a little bit and it will freak me me out and send me into the bathroom to investigate and make sure everything is still there. Not that I would even know if everything was still there, because I have only seen about 3 teeth in my mouth.

Another interesting subject is that of yawning. Generally, when one yawns, one feels tired. However, when I yawn, I feel nothing but pure fear and terror in the depths of my soul. I am wired shut basically via my braces. When I yawn, I really can't move my jaws apart at all, but I do end up putting pressure on them. Now, I for some odd reason always think that I am wired shut from the medical incisions and that if I yawn too much, my titanium plates will rip up right out of my face and I will be in agony for who knows how long. But that's not the case. I just like to give myself mini-heart attacks I guess.

I'm going to be adopting a new policy, however, that whenever I yawn I immediately go and lay down, no matter where I am. So if you ever see me laying down on the ground in odd locations, just know I must've yawned. "What is Tug doing laying down in the back of the classroom right now!?" "Oh don't worry about him, he must've yawned. It's cool."

Christmas Eve came and we continued our family tradition of eating Chinese food on Christmas Eve. Say what you may, but I much prefer the food from Christmas time than Thanksgiving time. I prefer Ham to Turkey...there, I said it. It was tough not being able to fully participate in the Christmas Eve Chinese Festival of Foods....but I managed. I even learned that I love Egg Drop Soup! That was my inclusion to the festivities - I drank some Egg Drop Soup.

Christmas morning came and I was ready to venture out into public for the first time - Church. That may seem like a simple, innocent enough place to begin my foray back into the public eye but let me tell you - you could not be further from the truth. I knew it was going to be dangerous as I was going to have to deal with the elderly population.

Don't get me wrong, I love the elderly and especially the members of my church. However, my best defense was taken away from me - the fake laugh, nod, and smile. I knew going in that it was going to have to be a praise-and-dash situation. Everything was going well, my mom mentioned me, I did my little wave thing, a few corny jokes were said and we carried on. Afterwords, my plan was to jet out of there ASAP. I'm not sure the pastor had even finished speaking his last words when one lady bee-lined right for me. I had not time to react. She talked at me for a couple seconds, I politely nodded...and then the inevitable happened. It almost happened in slow-mo...I saw her hands slowly raise up as if she were going to pinch my cheeks. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. My eyes widened, my heart sped up and mercifully, she placed her hands on my shoulders. Crisis averted. However, I was still pinned into the pew, and knew others were going to be searching for me. "LETS GO MOM" I wanted to yell, but turned to my left and decided hopping over the pew divider was the better option. From there, I jetted out a side door and averted any other possibly painful crisis.

The rest of the day went well. Classic Christmas type stuff. And I had your classic Christmas Meal...leftover Egg Drop Soup. Delicious. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and continues enjoying this time of the year.

Until then, stay classy.

1 week

For starters, let me say, Any "That's What she Said" jokes are null and void throughout the section in which I talk about straws. Just FYI. I wrote this post with that in mind....but it was impossible to avoid some of those pitfalls. So, while hilarious, please, let us all be mature still.

It's been one week. One long, hellish week. I'm really banking on telling myself that the Dr. is going to take these wires off after 4 weeks. I'm just going to keep telling myself that because 3 more weeks seems somewhat doable. 5 more weeks...not as much.

I've lost about 12 pounds since Sunday when I last weighed myself. I had put on some extra weight in the couple of weeks leading up to surgery because I told myself that A.) I was going to need it so my body could lose that weight easier and B.) because I knew I was going to miss food a lot I wanted to eat everything. And I mean everything.

Well, I don't miss food a lot. I miss it a gajillion billion million times more than a lot. Every time I watch TV now the ads for restaurants stick out more than ever...I never really realized them. And in a crueler twist of fate, the entire area of Auburn seems to be getting more TV Ad time now...where is my orthodontist and surgeon located? Auburn....ugh! As soon as I'm able, I'm going after some of these places with a vengeance.

My eating right now basically consists of Boost/Ensure shakes, chicken and beef broth and milked or watered down/blendered/scooped out soups. I had a modified form of clam chowder the other day that wasn't too bad. Everything I eat though has to be out of a straw right now. I really don't have feeling still in my bottom chin/lip area so drinking anything is still a challenge. I also can't put the straw in the middle of my mouth as it is still too sore for me to suck through that way, so I have to jam it into the side of my cheek and find a small space to suck through there.

My favorite treat that I have gotten so far has been some melted down milkshakes from McDonals. YUM! Anybody passing through a McDonalds and wanna buy me a milkshake, that's cool.

The last couple of days have been kind of tough in terms of sleeping. I haven't been able to get to bed until around 5 and 6 a.m. I just really can't get comfortable/shut my brain off. It's made me kind of miserable the last couple of days. But it has also been really nice to hear from some of my friends who have been checking in on me - it really does mean a lot to me. Anytime you wanna send me a text or facebook me i'd love to hear from you it would make me smile...well, to an extent.

I get really bored during the days and basically just watch netflix or my ESPN 30 for 30. So expect some movie/film reviews in the next couple of days. Also, on Tuesday, I have my next appointment with my Doctor. But in between there, I believe there is something important....but I just can't remember right now. Oh yea. CHRISTMAS! I'm sure there will be some interesting moments to update from there!

Until then, stay classy.

"I coulda been a contender..."

This morning was my first post-op follow up with my Dr. He basically filled me in on what went "wrong". Nothing with the surgery itself went wrong, it's just that they had to wire me shut when they didn't believe that they would. The reason for this is that, basically, my bottom jaw bone was so strong. He said I could've had a real career as a fighter because it would've been near impossible to break it from taking a punch. At least that's what I took it to mean, because these guys went in with the sole purpose of TRYING to break that jaw, with precision based medical instruments hacking away at the bone, and it took them 2 extra hours in large part because of that. So yes, I will take that as a compliment and that "I coulda been a contender..."

Everything else with my appointment went pretty well. My big concerns were with my lips (which are pretty disgusting), my stomach (due to meds and not being able to take in much), my teeth (again, gross) and these two mystery bandages I had left on my face after surgery.

The issue with my lips are that A). they are numb, which I expected and B.) I didn't know what more I should be doing to protect them from infection/excessive chapping. It went so far as I was pulling full layers of "stuff" off of my lips, and not knowing if it was super-dried chapstick or lip skin. My lips are starting to get feeling back in them, but it really didn't hurt to do that so I don't know what it was exactly. Any lip experts out there? Could chapstick form a layer and harden then get peeled off?

The other issue with my lips are that at the corners it is real bad with lots of crud in there. Basically I was told it's going to be pretty bad for awhile because there is lots of extra skin there being stretched and moved but that it will settle down normally soon.

My stomach has been another real issue. I think I was really taking it hard from these cocktails of medicines they have me on (penicilin, hydrocodone and motrin). So I asked if there were any specific purpose to me taking these drugs, or if I could just cut them out. They said if i wasn't in pain it'd be fine to cut them out so that's what I'm going with - as much as I can. Seriously, I am amazed at how much non-pain there is in my mouth. I have two surgically moved jaws and my biggest complaint is about my shoulder haha. Pretty amazing stuff. I should've talked more trash and got in more fights in high school. Although now I'm worried 1/4th of my jaw is now glass...I won't say which one is my achilles heel though...but it is DEFINITELY not the lower left jaw bone that didn't get done as FULLY as they were hoping...definitely not that one.

The other issue that i had were my teeth...I cracked my lips open the other day to take a look at them, and it is not a pretty sight in there. I think I have some dried blood left on them. Ew. They're still pretty sore (I tried touching one) but in the next day or two I'm gonna start trying to gently brush them. Gross, I know. Sorry for that.

The last major question I had were these two mystery bandages I have on the outside of my face on the outside of my jaws. I was too worried to take them off and investigate myself. I knew they had to go in and make a small incision there to get to part of my jaw but I didn't know if they needed stitches or not. Turns out, they did! I have two small stitches on each side of my face currently. Those come out next week in my visit with the Doctor.

So those were all of the major issues that I had today when I met with my surgeon. He said that recovery has seemingly gone pretty much according to plan and he thinks I will be happy with the results. I won't truly be happy with the results though, unless I can for once in my life, bite my fingernails like a normal obsessive person!

Stay classy everyone!

The days after...

So I had surgery on Thursday morning, and it is currently Monday afternoon. I luckily have been pain-free (for the most part) in my recovery. The only REAL pain I am having is in my shoulder still - I've put heat packs on it and iced it, but it still feels like someone is stabbing it. I must've seriously put that shoulder through something during surgery.

That is not to say that this recuperation process has been easy, however. As i mnetioned, I haven't really had any jaw pain just yet, but it has been soooo annoying. It feels as though I have just had shots of Novocaine inserted throughout my face. My lips are insanely chapped. I am not looking forward necessarily to having feeling back in them, because I am sensing that my lips will be the most painful part of all o this. I have basically been rolling tubes of chapstick all over my face...I think I am usually applying it to my lips, but I am pretty sure I have put a my fair share of chapstick on my teeth.

I am starting to get a little more movement in my mouth as well. I can sort of begin to form the beginnings of a smile. It is still a little painful, but I am getting there on that front!

Taking in liquids has been a bit of a challenge too. I've had to work straws around to different angles in my mouth, and even then, I am not guaranteed that I will be getting any liquid out of it due to my lack of "suck-power". I am already so sick of broth. There is only so much of that I can take. I have been trying to take esnure and boost in order to make sure I am still taking in some vitamins. Hopefully, when you all see me next, I will look a little more normal! My facial swelling has gone down some - I still look like a pretty big freak, but it definitely has decreased. I'll try to put up another picture tomorrow so you can all see for yourself!

*WARNING - POSSIBLY GROSS*

Perhaps my favorite routine, however, is when I have to swish/use mouth wash. I basically put back a shot of a mouth cleaner, and move my head from side to side in order to try and get all sides of my mouth. When that's all over though, I can't really spit. I have to basically bend my face over the sink, part my lips, and try to just sort of let everything fall out. Luckily for me, though, my nose has stopped filling with blood. I used to not only let the mouthwash fall out of my face, but every so often blood would start gushing out of my nose and get mixed in all over my face. That part is more or less over though. I hope.

First Night Home

Pre- surgery photo


So I finally got to come home and spend the night in the moderate comforts of my own bed. I'll mainly just put up pictures for this post (I hope).

I warn you, however, once you see these pictures you will not be able to un-see them. I swear, I do look like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

I have been relatively pain free so far. I can feel that there may be some pain coming in the next couple of days as my jaws get used to their new placements. These wires are allow for very little movement, and trying to find that exact place is going to be the tough part.

My should also is still pretty sore. I could probably use some heat on that at some point. This liquid diet thing is also going to get pretty old, pretty quick.

I think the numbness on my face is going down just a tad as well. Although I am kind of dreading the day I get feeling back in my lips because those are gonna be some chapped mothers...

Post:

Before, During and After

Wow. What an experience.

So the night leading up to the surgery I wasn't to have any food or anything to drink after midnight due to the anesthesia. That was fine. I had my last supper - Spaghetti. My last snack - Baked Lays Potato Chips. And my last source of peanut butter on a slice of bread. However, apparently during my sleep my body didn't realize that it would be OK for me to swallow my own saliva. I woke up probably 3 or 4 times during the night freaking out that I was swallowing my own saliva and wouldn't be able to go through with the surgery. Hopefully, by now, the spit has dried up on my floor....

The morning came and this time waking up at 5:30 in the morning didn't mean I was going to have to drive 40 some odd minutes to face students, but rather drive 40 minutes to get my face operated on. It really was a pretty uneventful morning - got right in, got dressed in a gown and just waited. I was starving by this point...makes me wish I didn't spit out all of that spit :) But I tried to keep my mind off of the whole process really.

They rolled me back into the "holding room" of sorts. Here I met with an anesthesiologist...he was a pretty cool dude. We sort of talked about a couple of things, he tried to make me feel relaxed. Then right before he started rolling me out, he mentioned to me that since it was going to be a long surgery, they were going to put a catheter into me after I was asleep, and before I woke up, and that when I woke up it would feel like I would need to take a leak, but I wouldn't be able to. More on that later.

So anyway, the surgery was supposed to last for 4-5 hours. It ended up lasting about 7 ish. From my understanding, the top jaw surgery went really well, but the bottom part is where they ran into some trouble. Basically, it is kind of a blind shot as to where the nerves run on the bottom jaw and it is always their goal to avoid them so that numbness along the jaw lines, chin and tongue won't be an issue. Well I guess when they got in there and got past that, my jaw bone down there was a lot tougher than they were anticipating. I'm still not sure EXACTLY what the issue was....but let's just say that I am wired shut, for those of you who have read previously. I guess everything came out fine, but they just needed some extra protection to secure one part of my jaw...I'll never tell any of you which part so that you'll never know where my weakness is and where extra strength titanium is.

So it has been roughly 24 hoursish after I got out of surgery, and I have to say how surprised at the lack of pain I have been having. It's really pretty crazy. The most uncomfortable thing so far has been that I have a lot of numbness along my chin/lips and my jaw feels kind of uncomfortable the way it is locked. Nothing unbearable though. The most pain I suffered though coming out of this surgery? 2-way tie.

1). My shoulder. I woke up out of surgery and they were trying to ask me about my pain on this pain chart they have, 1-10. i immediately told them a 9....but not because of my mouth. I had shooting pains going all down through my shoulder. I must have slept on it at a really weird angle. It still hurts pretty good right now.

2.) When i had to go pee later that night. The anesthesiologist told me that I would feel like I had to go pee later but that I couldn't due to the catheter. Well, I had taken in some liquids and it really felt like I had to pee. Well I did have to....but it hurt like nothing I have ever felt before. I peed for about half of a second before I yelled out and stopped. I didn't end up going again until about 430 in the morning when they just mentioned in passing that maybe they would have to put in another catheter if I couldn't go now...I'm thinking that was some sly psychology put on by that nurse. Well done. It worked. The next big step I'm looking forward to now is being able to pee pain free.

I've been kind of amazed at my ability to talk. I was on a morphine drip for awhile and everything felt great, and I think I was talking pretty well. Since coming off of it and onto basically a liquid motrin, my jaw has tightened up a little and it is not quite as easy to talk. I've also developed a pretty nasty case of the hiccups, which, as you can imagine, is quite pleasant at this point.

Really, all in all though, it hasn't been too bad yet. I've had two different kind of broths for breakfast and lunch and am looking at taking some ensure for dinner. I sent some of you my picture that I had taken pretty much right after I got out of surgery....oh it got worse. For those of you that can remember Fat bastard from the Austin Powers movies? I look like his fatter cousin in my photos. Seriously, it looks cartoonish how swollen I am. I will try to upload some photos as time goes on

I'm really not planning on leaving my house for about the next 4 1/2 weeks until I head to school (at which point i will HOPEFULLY be unwired, but I wouldn't be on it). But anybody who wants to come over and spend some time with me before then would be much appreciated. I will probably just be sitting on my coach, drinking ovaltine/ensure and watching netflix.

I also want to thank everybody for showing me so much love on my facebook wall and via texting afterwards. It really meant and means a lot to me. I'm gonna be a sore and bloody mess. As the next couple of days go by I will try and update some more and answer any remaining questions that may arise...Thanks again everybody. Let's hope I don't look quite as hideous when I get all healed up!

T-minus...

So in a little under 12 hours from now, a Doctor is going to be gnashing through my jaw bones and then welding them back together. I know in the long run it's going to be worth it, but in the short run, it's gonna suck. I think the thing, honestly, that I am most nervous about is just waking up from the surgery. I'm sure I'm gonna be bandaged up but I also think there is going to be a lot of blood. It's going to be a blood bath in there.

This final day has been spent on eating my very favorite foods: Grilled cheese for lunch, Spaghetti for dinner. I'm a simple soul to please. But i guess I should be honest - this entire past month has been me eating my favorite foods under the rationale "hey, I'm not going to be eating anything solid for 4 weeks, that'll help me lose x amount of pounds, so I might as well put on weight!". In hindsight, that was probably poor planning and a poor rationale. But it sure tasted great.

I'm not really sure what it's going to be like in the hospital. I've never had to stay overnight in one (that I can remember). Rumor has it that I'll be put in the ICU after surgery and possibly overnight. That could be fun. I imagine they don't give out roommates in the ICU unit...that would be kind of odd. But who knows, if they do, maybe I will meet a new best friend!!!

I should be back home sometime on Friday and I imagine I will try to update this thing then. I'm also not sure what the whole cell-phone situation is going to be, but if you want details and you can't wait, you can try texting me.

If you don't hear back from me at some point on Friday, you should probably assume I am dead. I have already given out promises on my casette tape collection, but everything else is up for grabs. I have a really great special features MacGruber DVD that has a whole 2 deleted scenes, so you better speak up quick.

Until then everybody...hope I don't die!

Also - any questions you want me to address, facebook me!

~Kevin/Tug

Pre-Op Consultation

Yesterday was my final one on one meeting with the surgeon to talk about any last minute questions that I might have and for him to make sure that I understood everything that was going to happen along with introducing me to his assisting surgeon.

One of my biggest questions/concerns was this whole issue of people having their mouth's wired shut. He assured me that he has never had to wire anybody's mouth shut who has undergone this procedure before and doesn't envision having to do so with me unless something doesn't go according to plan. So, if I'm walking around with my mouth wired shut for a few weeks, you'll know not to ask me how it went. Let's hope I don't get wired shut.

What he does do, I guess, is basically use rubber bands to hold me in place. He said I should be able to talk almost immediately, which has me worried. I was kind of banking on not having to talk to any of you idiots for awhile and having an excuse (jokes, people, jokes!). We'll see though - I think there is likely a difference between being able to talk and WANTING to talk. It'll probably be relatively painful to try and talk for the first week or two.

I'm also going to be put on a liquid diet for a few weeks. i was under the impression it would be all liquids for 6-8 weeks, but he made it sound as if by that point I will be able to be eating soft foods and after 8 weeks, hopefully onto some more solid foods. Either way, hopefully this will kickstart my diet!

Hard to believe 24 hours from me writing this, my mouth will be propped open and two surgeons will be re-constructing my jaw bones.

Speaking of surgeons, I met the surgeon that will be assisting on the operation. He played football for U of R...I'm not sure how to feel about that. I've been around meathead football players for about 10ish years of my life....I could count on no hands how many of those blockheads I would want operating on my mouth. I hope he is better at surgery than his school is at football...ZINGER! But in all seriousness now folks, he seems like a pretty good guy.

That's about all the relevant news I have for now. I'll probably make one last update later tonight when I really start getting nervous about this, or maybe early tomorrow morning before I go in for surgery.

All the best until then!

Again?

So I really thought I would be done with this blogging adventure once I finished my cross country travels. However, looking back on it, I realized what a good way blogging was to remind myself of some of the things I had seen/done. So in a way, I guess this is really going to be done for selfish reasons, and anybody that gets enjoyment out of this is just a small bonus, I guess.

A little bit of background on this whole issue. I have one big jaw, and one small jaw. My big jaw makes me look like Sgt. Slaughter for all of you who get the reference. If you don't, that is why we have google image search these days. My upper jaw is not big enough. Apparently teeth need room in order to be straight, and my upper jaw doesn't give them enough room.

So basically what they're going to do is widen and move my upper jaw forward a tad, and move my lower jaw back some. Should be a pretty simple, pain free surgery (sarcasm). And yes, a lot of people have already said "Oh jeeze, I could just break your jaws for free har har"...that joke was old before I even heard it. Besides, I don't have glass jaws you people would probably just give me some bruising you pansies.

Anyways, I plan on updating this after my pre-op meeting with the surgeon, right before the surgery, and hopefully a few times after the surgery. I hope you enjoy and can take away a few giggles from my soon to be pain and suffering.